I'm one hundred percent content

with things now.  I panicked there for a minute, but I know things are in God's hands, and I'm completely fine with that.  I am looking forward to the future, yes, but I'm perfectly satisfied with living life day to day, relishing each moment, breathing in the present, remembering the past, but not dwelling in it.  I'm realizing how fast time goes by and that I can't get this time back.  I'll never be this Beth, ever again, so I'm going to enjoy things how they are while they lasts.  I think I have Peter Pan Syndrome in that I am afraid of growing up.  Afraid of leaving all I know behind, letting it go for something new.  I don't know what I want, but that's okay because I'm not anticipating things anymore.  Life is not controllable.  It's God's life in me, I'm His vessel, so whatever direction He wants to take me in, I'm all up for it.  He's the driver, I'm just along for the ride.